Fear is one of the words that instantly stops you in your tracks. It’s a feeling that holds us in place and stops us from pursuing our dreams and taking risks that could transform our lives. It’s such a powerful emotion that it’s one that can control you from a deeper level than you probably even realize.
But let me tell you something honest- with effort it is an emotion that you can take control of and stop letting it rule you.
That is what we are going to be talking about today. How you can take back control of yourself and stop letting fear control your life. Right now it’s impacting the decisions you make, the words you speak and think, the opportunities you deny and your relationships. Yep fear impacts your relationships of all kinds! I could honestly go on and on about the impact that fear can have in your life. But the most important thing to discuss is how you can get over it and stop letting it control you.
So let’s get into that so we can work together on overcoming feelings of fear and take back control of our own lives-
*** This article may contain affiliate links that I receive a small commission off of. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. I always appreciate any support to keep this site running! Thank you!***
FEAR: How to let it go so it stops controlling you
How to stop letting fear win:
Step 1: Define the fear
First things first- fear needs to be defined and labeled.
Letting it stay vague and a mystery in your mind is giving it too much power. Which is why you need to take the necessary time and define the fear. When it is a general feeling of “that makes me nervous and hesitant” and isn’t a defined thing then it can not only keep impacting your decisions but it also can grow and spiral into something bigger and bigger.
You need to name the fears, what is causing the emotions of hesitancy for real. And don’t worry, later we will discuss how to address the fear but the first thing we gotta do is define your individual fears.
ALSO- make sure to focus on the main fears that are debilitating and inspired you to read this article!!
You can do this by asking yourself these questions –
- What thoughts make me feel anxious and nervous?
- Which scenarios occur that make you feel scared of?
- If you could shorten the name of the situation you fear to 3 words or less what would they be?
Now that you know how to define your fear and what your specific fear looks like you can start to really address it and stop letting the fear hold you back.
Step 2: Question the fear
Next up you need to question the fear.
Let’s use the fear of rejection as the one to focus on to help explain this step!
When you address the fear head on you are taking away the mystery around it and addressing the root of why it’s a fear for you.
Ask yourself- why does this fear scare me? AKA “why does being rejected scare me so much?”
Take the time to think about the real reasons that you have that fear. For the rejection example that could be asking yourself “what happened in the past that made me extra nervous about rejection” and/or “why does the risk of rejection stop me from going for things?”
Questioning the fear will help you figure out why the fear is holding control of you. And that knowledge is POWER for overcoming the fear.
Step 3: Take it one small step at a time
Small steps are how you are going to ease into this journey and start overcoming the fear that is controlling you.
Here are some small steps that you can take on this journey –
- Change your inner dialogue. When you have thoughts of fear don’t let it belittle you. Stand up to the thoughts and remind yourself of your own competence and skills.
- Keep a log. Journal about your thoughts and progress! Keep a log of times you get past your fears so that you can look back and see your efforts and progress.
- Celebrate your wins! When you do overcome the fear celebrate it!!!
Step 4: Reframe fear as self protection
Alright let’s get a little deeper here- fear exists for a reason.
Fear is your mind trying to protect you from something that instinctually you view as a danger. Something that could cause you emotional or physical harm. Fear is like a big sister watching out for you. But just like an overbearing older sis (I say as the one in that role who takes it very seriously to protect my little sisters) that protection can hold you back from achieving bigger and better things.
But viewing it as a way you’re trying to protect yourself allows you to give the emotion the right amount of power- acknowledging it but knowing that YOU are in control not a single emotion. Thank yourself for looking out for you and know it comes from a good place. But then remind yourself that you have the power to control your life and your decisions not fear.
Step 5: Embrace the worst case scenario
This step may be a little controversial to some but it has helped me more than I could ever properly express in words.
As someone with a lot of anxiety the idea of worst case scenarios is something I am oh so familiar with. But they can actually be a tool for overcoming fear too- crazy, I know but hear me out!
Fear is going to send warning signals into your brain and body saying HEY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS IS SCARY AVOID AVOID AVOID. But that doesn’t mean you just avoid without questioning it.
Take a minute to honestly think about the worst case scenario- let’s go back to our rejection example.
If your fear of applying to a new, better job is rejection think about the worst case… which is that you don’t get the job. Yeah that sucks and is disappointing but you’ve overcome way harder things before and at the end of the day that worst case scenario can’t possible outweigh the chance that you will get the new job!
Of course some scenarios are a lot scarier than that. Maybe your fear is of taking up rock climbing at a local gym. The worst case? You have a bad fall and break a bone or two. That would really suck I agree. But not only is it super unlikely it’s also not the end of the world!!! Embrace the worst case, remind yourself it isn’t likely but if it did happen you could handle it and overcome the obstacles. You are stronger than you are giving yourself credit for!
Step 6: Get out of your comfort zone regularly
Comfort zones are where we live when fear is winning. And my friends we are getting past that!!!
If you’re not new around here then you have probably read about my thoughts on the importance of getting out of comfort zones a lot. But it’s important and that is why.
Comfort zones hold us back. They are a place where we know we are safe but that safety doesn’t allow us to grow or develop as a person. The risk of failing and actually failing is how we advance as a person and become the best version of ourselves.
For way more on comfort zones and escaping them then I highly recommend reading this next: How To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone!
Korra-Shay
If you enjoyed this article on FEAR: How to let it go so it stops controlling you then you probably (hopefully!) will enjoy and find these articles helpful as well:
You must be logged in to post a comment.