Loneliness is one of the hardest situations to not only get past but also to get through. Struggling with feelings of loneliness is an exhausting journey! There’s a lot I want to say to comfort anyone going through a lonely time. But I also know that no words can really make it feel any better. However- I can offer the tips and advice that has helped me through loneliness times before.
And at the end of the day all I really want you to take away from this article is that better times are coming! Holding onto optimism and knowing that feelings of loneliness will pass as you re-build a community and work through what led to the lonely state you’re in.
So let’s get into the tips for helping you cope and get through loneliness 🙂
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Helpful Ways To Cope And Get Through Loneliness
What causes loneliness?
Well the reality is I can’t answer that without knowing a lot more about you and your life! But we can quickly chat about the most common causes of loneliness-
- A life stage change- graduated from high school or college? Welcomed your first child into your life? Moved to a new city or state for a job? There are so many life stages that can change often with little to no warning. And those life changes can cause so many shifts in your life including making you feel more isolated and alone. But we will chat about life stage loneliness later and what to do so don’t worry!
- Mental health- depression and loneliness go hand in hand. If you believe that depression or other mental health concerns are leading to feelings of loneliness I really hope you will seek the help of professionals and lean on your loved ones! But loneliness when coping with other mental health problems is oh so common and one you should reach out for help with not just get through!
- Societal shifts- things happen in the world that are way out of any of our control. And unfortunately those shifts often have unforeseen consequences and a common one is impacting our social structures. In recent times we have lost 3rd spaces and shifted so much socialization to the online world. Shifts we can’t control but they do impact us and increase loneliness in our world 🙁
Of course these are just 3 of infinite things that could happen that result in feelings of loneliness. But the key is going to be how we handle and get through these feelings rather than focusing on what caused them! So let’s get into these loneliness tips so we can work through this together-
Loneliness handling tips:
Tip 1: Get into your hobbies
Embracing your hobbies and interests during time of loneliness is key for two reasons-
Reason 1: only you can bring yourself joy
Finding and embracing things that you don’t need anyone else for in order to participate and enjoy your time is essential. This is something that I also believe everyone would benefit from whether or not you feel like you’re struggling with loneliness.
Creativity also helps you work through a lot of inner emotions as well.
Reason 2: it’s the best way to find like minded people
Finding people that you want to spend time with is really the ultimate goal for escaping loneliness. And starting with a passion in common is the best way to build those connections!
Join a book club, take a yoga class, go on a hike, follow your local girls who walk or similar group pages etc. get out there and find people that share a solid interest with you!
Tip 2: Work on being the most interesting version of yourself
Spending time with yourself can be challenging but becoming a person you WANT to spend time with is key 🙂
Start getting out of your comfort zone. Cultivate curiosity. Learn about things that you are clueless about. Read more, travel more, be the interesting person that you would love to have a conversation with.
Also- work on treating yourself with the kind words and questions that you would use on a loved one. You can be your own best friend during this journey or your own worst enemy and how you speak to yourself determines that!!
Tip 3: Use social media cautiously
Alright guys let’s chat about the elephant in the room- social media can be really freaking toxic.
Don’t get me wrong- I also love the community, education and entertainment it provides. But it also shows us everything which can make it feel even harder when it looks like everyone else is socializing and living their best life.
We’ve probably all heard the line “social media is just a highlight reel” but Imma say it again because it’s so true. Everyone isn’t hanging out all the time they just post about it when they do!
Regardless the point is to approach social media with caution ESPECIALLY when you are struggling with feelings of loneliness.
Tip 4: Volunteer more!
Get out there and volunteer in your community. Being in a situation where you are apart of community is the best way to not only beat loneliness but also help your mental state during it.
Do you have a skillset? A talent you could help others with? Then get out there and get involved.
For me it’s gardening- I love growing fresh food and I love helping others so it’s a volunteering match made in heaven. I “grow a row” for local food banks and teach people how to easily start gardening! The moral of the story is to get creative 🙂
Tip 5: Evaluate what you want from your social life
What are you really searching for in your dream situation?
A whole big group with lots of friends?
One really loyal bestie?
A new partner?
Friends that feel like siblings?
What you are looking for will vary so much from person to person. But knowing what you are looking for is going to make this journey so much easier to escape the loneliness.
But it also important to add that you also need to be the person for others than you want in return! When you haven’t felt those close connections in awhile it can be weird at first but remember- if you would value it anyone worth valuing will too!
Tip 6: Search for the cause of the loneliness
This tip can be really challenging emotionally. And if you are not in a mental health condition to handle it then skip right over this!
But if you are feeling the strength to tackle why you are struggling with loneliness it can be the biggest step towards getting past this phase.
Taking time to think about circumstances and emotions that led to this state can be really helpful to identify problem areas that can help you stop feeling so lonely once you fix! Or just coming to terms with things can be helpful too.
Tip 7: Consider other forms of companionship
There are less “traditional” but just as loving and helpful of ways to find and bring companionship into your life. Let’s chat about a couple-
Pets: maybe I am biased here as an obsessed dog mom but pets make the best of friends!
Virtual friends: while it isn’t the exact same friendship it is still a valid and helpful way to make connections with others. So if virtual friendships help you feel like you have companionship and don’t feel as much social isolation then embrace your online besties and don’t let anyone tell you to do otherwise.
Mentorship/volunteering: I know we chatted about volunteering already but mentoring specifically is a great way to help get out into your community and combat feelings of loneliness all at the same time!
Korra-Shay
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