Maybe it’s inherently in many of our DNA, maybe it’s a learned behavior, maybe it’s just society… but regardless of the WHY the reality is we tend to minimize our own success. We tend to talk down our accomplishments especially when complimented by others. We don’t sell ourselves out of fear of being perceived as arrogant or cocky. We’re not going to even get into how much more prevalent it is amongst women to minimize our success because that is a whole topic for another day!!
But today we are going to chat about why minimizing your success is holding you back in life and then we’re gonna learn together how to be your own cheerleader. We’re going to learn how to be confident in your success and feel proud talking about your accomplishments rather than shying away from the conversation.
So why is this important? Why do you need to quit minimizing your successes in life?
Not owning up to your talents and success can hold you back! One way is with the connections in your career you are or more so are NOT making. The people who could get you further in life will be hearing the loudest persons success not the best persons. I’m not telling you to go scream at your CEO about how awesome you are- but I am saying that when you earned the credit, accept the praise. Especially in a work space or else you may be convincing them unintentionally that you are worse at your job than you actually are.
Another issue with minimizing your own success is that you are telling it to your subconscious too not just others. You are telling yourself that you didn’t really earn it. You are telling yourself that you didn’t actually work hard for the good things in your life. And your heart will start to listen to those words. Loosing your confidence and hurting your mental wellbeing along the way too 🙁
It’s hard to break the idea that you are bragging and not being humble when you respond to a “wow that’s so awesome you got that promotion” with “thank you, I am so excited for this new role and all the opportunities it holds” instead of (and guys I am speaking from experience here) “well there wasn’t much competition for it” or “ugh but it’s going to be so much work”.
Those changes are going to be huge for your personal growth, your career growth, and your mental health too.
Alright so now that we have fully finished talking about why it’s so bad for your growth to minimize your success it’s time to talk about the practical steps to ACTUALLY stop! Let’s get into it-
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How to quit minimizing your success: be your own cheerleader!
Be more confident in your own success:
Tip: shake the imposter syndrome
Imposter syndrome is the feeling that we experience that we aren’t qualified, capable, in over our heads etc. It makes us feel like a fraud and like we aren’t worthy even though we are in whatever position we’re experiencing it in for a good reason!
So shaking imposter syndrome is going to be essential to stop minimizing your success. You have to be able to believe that you EARNED to be where you are in life and that you are just as capable and deserving as the next person.
When you embrace that mentality and shake imposter syndrome you will find it easier to be thankful and gracious when complimented rather than immediately denying it because you feel like an “imposter”.
Also, understand that imposter syndrome is common, and even the most successful people feel it sometimes, which means you’re in good company my friends!!
Tip: accept that your words really matter
Realize that your expressions and how you talk about your achievements can influence both your self-perception and how others perceive you.
Your words matter, so use them wisely!
Speak confidently about your accomplishments. Avoid using qualifiers like “just” or “only,” as in “I just got lucky” or “It was only a small thing.” Instead, own your successes and speak plainly about your role in achieving them.
Tip: assume compliments are genuine
It’s easy to dismiss compliments if you’re feeling unsure of yourself. To think “they are just being kind” or “I bet they will joke about this later” you are taking a confidence booster away from yourself and replacing it with something that actually hurts your confidence.
However, assuming that compliments are genuine can be a powerful step in overcoming self-doubt.
When you receive a compliment, resist the urge to brush it off or counter it with a negative. Instead, thank the person sincerely. With practice, you’ll start to accept that the praise you receive is well-deserved and reflective of your actual abilities and contributions.
And here is the thing- even if it is a “fake” compliment. Who cares? That is a reflection of their issues and insecurities and has nothing to do with YOU and your successes in life.
Tip: talk to yourself like a friend
Think about how you talk to yourself when you achieve something. Are you critical and dismissive, or are you supportive and positive?
To stop minimizing your success, talk to yourself as you would a friend. You wouldn’t diminish a friend’s achievements so you can’t do it to yourself. You know you would be hyping up your friend for the same accomplishment. So why are you not hyping yourself up in your mind too?
You deserve to be your own friend. No one can take your own friendship and positive speaking away from you so don’t take it for granted and learn to take with kindness and love to yourself.
Tip: remember others look up to you
Realizing that others may look up to you can shift your perspective on how you view your accomplishments. Consider younger colleagues, family members, or friends who see you as a role model. They notice your achievements and take cues on how to perceive success from you. By embracing and acknowledging your own success, you’re not only helping yourself but also setting a positive example for them to follow.
If you are belittling your accomplishments you are basically telling someone that admires you and strives for a similar life that they aren’t good enough either. And I know that’s not how you feel!! So don’t risk it- talk positively and inspiringly about your accomplishments because you never know what young ears are listening 🙂
Korra-Shay
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